Free resource

The first‑phone agreement

A starting point you write together with your kid. Read the short guide first, then print the agreement or save it as a PDF.

Go to the agreement

Before you print: make it yours

No two families are alike. Your kid's age, your values, your schedule and your culture all shape what makes sense in your home. This agreement is meant to be edited.

  1. Write it together. Sit down with your kid and go through it line by line. Let them suggest changes. Rules they helped write are the ones they understand, and the ones they keep.
  2. Keep the core. A few lines are marked Core. They protect sleep, safety, and the most important thing of all: that your kid comes to you when something goes wrong. Whatever else you change, we suggest you keep these.
  3. Change the rest. Hours, apps, where the phone lives during homework. Cross things out, add your own lines. The blanks are there for you.
  4. The adults sign too. Kids notice what we do more than what we say. Pick a few lines you will keep yourself.
  5. Treat it as a draft. Set a date to review it together. As your kid shows they're ready, freedom grows. That's the deal, and it's worth saying out loud.
  6. When it breaks, repair. It will be broken, by everyone at some point. That's a moment to talk, not only to punish. Ask what happened, and adjust the agreement if it needs it.

Ideas other families add

Take one or two if they fit. Not all of them.

  • A daily time limit. We left this off the sheet on purpose. Rules tied to moments (meals, homework, bedtime) are easier to keep than counting minutes, and they're one less thing to argue about. But for some families, often with younger kids, a clear number works well. If that's you, add it.
  • No phone in the first half hour after waking up.
  • The phone goes to its charging spot an hour or two before bed.
  • Start with one messaging app, and add others together later.
  • Bedrooms are phone-free during the day too.
  • No phone while walking or crossing the street.
  • With friends, do something together on the screen, not side by side on separate ones.
Why these lines are core

Four things worth keeping.

  • The phone sleeps outside the bedroom. Phones in the bedroom at night are linked to shorter, poorer sleep in kids and teens, and sleep is when a growing brain and body recover. A charging spot outside the room makes the right choice the easy one.
  • Telling a parent is always safe. Kids will see things online that confuse or scare them. If telling you means losing the phone, they stop telling. This line, for kids and parents, is the heart of the agreement.
  • Personal details stay private. No sharing address, school, location or photos with people they don't know in real life, and no meeting an online friend without a parent.
  • New apps start with a conversation. Not a no. A chance to look at it together before it's on the phone.

Our Family Phone Agreement

Between and

Attuned

Why we're getting this phone

Staying safe

  • If something online makes me uncomfortable, scared or pressured, I stop replying and tell . Core
  • I don't share my address, school, location or photos of myself with people I don't know in real life. I never meet an online friend without a parent. Core
  • I ask before downloading a new app or game, or opening a new account. Core
  • I share my passcode with my parents and no one else, and I tell them when I add a contact they don't know.
  • If my phone is lost or broken, I tell my parents right away, and we decide together what happens next.

Being kind, staying connected

  • If I wouldn't say it face to face, I don't send it. I ask before sharing photos or videos of other people.
  • I use my phone to connect with people, not to disappear from the ones around me.

Staying balanced (for now)

  • At night, my phone sleeps outside my room, in , from . Core
  • No phone at meals, during homework, or during .
  • If my phone starts making me feel bad or out of control, I take a break and talk to someone I trust.

My parents' commitments

  • When you come to us about something online, we listen first and stay calm. Telling us does not automatically mean losing your phone. Core
  • We take your online world seriously, even when we don't fully get it.
  • We put our own phones away at meals, and during .
  • We ask before posting photos of you.
  • We explain our rules, and we listen when you disagree.
  • As you show you're ready, your freedom grows. We're learning this together too.

If the agreement is broken, we agreed that

Our own lines

We'll sit down and review this together on:

Kid
Parent or caregiver
Parent or caregiver
Date

Attuned · attunedfamily.com · Free to print and use at home.

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